SEVEN DAYS
by weizz-dono
Summary: How will I put this, um... other gods decided, two gods placed bets, the Sanzo-ikkou were separated, and were reincarnated... but not particularly in that order... (sowie... sucky summary)
1. SEVEN DAYS chap 1

SEVEN DAYS 

[A/N]: ^_____^ Minna!!! I'm new at this writing thingy; I just wanted to try my hand at what everyone's so busy about… so please be nice to the new recruit?

[Disclaimer]: I recently celebrated my BLIPP b'day… whoa, did it juz went BLIPP when I mentioned my age? Weird! Anyway, I held my BLIPP b'day and I secretly wished to own SAIYUKI… couple'o days have passed and nothing's happenin', so I guess it's still not mine. I'm givin' it 'till this week though (*smiles*).

On with it…

**_Chapter One: The Gods Did What?_**

**__**

_"Ah hell," Beaver said, _

_And shuffled his feet uncomfortably. _

_"Anybody woulda."_

_-- Stephen King, 'Dreamcatcher'_

_God enters by a private door into every individual._

_-- Ralph Waldo Emerson_

            Kanzeon Bosatsu, known as the hermaphroditic goddess of mercy, plain 'old hag' to her favorite nephew and maybe to her other colleagues as well, laid down her binoculars and smiled a rather mischievous and contented smile at the scene she just witnessed. A little away to her right, the ever faithful Jiroushin suppressed an uncomfortable sigh.

            Several lifetimes have passed after the Sanzo-ikkou has finished the quest that almost got them killed, not that they lived forever or anything, they all died in fact some years after. You would have thought that Kanzeon would follow suit in boredom, but no. The infamous goddess was actually having the time of her immortal life. She's actually smiling, look at how erm… pretty it's making her look, lips all turned up like a wild hyena, why, she's practically blooming. 

            The reason you ask?

            It's quite obvious, after all who else would have her amused and contented while sitting on her little haven up there her whole life with no one to accompany but other boring gods and her prim, never-looking anything, never-doing anything morose-faced Mr. Tight-Ass Servant?

            Two words; Sanzo-ikkou. Or was that considered as only one?

            Anyhow, as I was saying, the goddess of mercy spends most of her long existence nowadays by watching the new incarnates of the Sanzo-ikkou. Uh-huh, you all heard right. They were reincarnated to the present world, all making their own lives. The gods must've felt that things wouldn't be right if there weren't any four brash, violent, ill mouthed, short-tempered (this one applies to only three of the four), weird, and a little loose on the head, men grazing the face of the world. How well they manage us mortals ne?

            So much to the delight of the aforementioned goddess, all four of the Sanzo-ikkou was brought back. Whooppie! Now Kanzeon wouldn't have to spend her days talking to the wall and biting her own nails.

            All four of her favorite people in the world were now living normal and quest-free lives. And all the more joyful that makes her to be because now, she can freely interfere *cough, toy, cough* with them without having to consider any consequences to any mission.

            The goddess was all but singing 'Happy Days Are Here Again'. And well she did! Once, one time after she disturbingly disappeared for a couple of hours, Jiroushin later found her in her room grinning dumbly and singing that song, and off-key if I may add. No one knew where she went and why after that, her smile can't seem to budge off from her face. Oh for days, poor servant Jiroushin had to endure being called Jirou-chan, in private and in front of others as well! The pain of it all. Of all the nicknames she could come up with, she had to give him one that sounded like she expected him to come wagging his tail at her call. Jirou-chan indeed. Wonder how the goddess would feel if he decided to address her as Herma-sama, see how she'd fare with that. 

            Eversince goddess Kanzeon learned of her four reincarnated *cough, boy-toys, cough*, she has been getting weirder and weirder. Which makes the already stuffy Jirou-chan more stuffy and tight. Who wouldn't anyway? His master was notorious for pulling tricks and pranks that always displeases other gods. And almost everytime they chastise her after finding out, his name wouldn't be too far off in the list. If this goes on, his transcript of records would be way too tainted to land him a decent job should he decide to resign. Not that he can just resign whenever he preferred to. Herma-sama would surely talk his ears off until he forgets everything but her ringing voice. Whatever else was to happen, Jiroushin was sure to stay on his spot for good long lifetimes. And the pay's not even that great! No, wait there has never been a pay at all. Ever.

See what he has to go through? 

So pardon him if he's being more stuffy than his usual stuffy self. And pardon him again if he's more and more disliking the cheesy smile that kept getting bigger and bigger on his master's face. Oh, just the thought of whatever mischief the goddess has done this time was enough to make him shudder in displeasure. The mere thought!

"Eherm… not meaning to interrupt you Bosatsu-sama, but… erm what did you do… this time?" asked Jirou-chan, braving the lion's den.

The goddess' smirk grew much larger in answer, much to the dismay of Mr. Tight-Ass Servant. Her eyes even glinted mysteriously adding more to her servant's discomfort. In his mind, Mr. TAS bid goodbye to good white-collared jobs he kept dreaming about. So long buddy, don't reckon I'll ever see you again, so long.

"Hmmm… JIROU-CHAN is curious today?" said the soaring goddess in a singsong voice. "Aww, how cute."

_Augh! Right back at you HERMA-SAMA._

The goddess of mercy arranged herself more comfortably on her chair before saying, "I'm very pleased with myself today Jirou-chan so I'm gonna forget you thought that."

Gulp.

Oh boy, forgot to mention gods can read minds, hehe, poor Mr. TAS.

"Anyways, you wanna hear what happened today?" Wow, the goddess must really be happy indeed. She changed moods faster than you can say temperamental. Thank Kami for that.

"This will surely make your day, my not-so-humble slave. I just—"

A flurry of whirling hot wind accompanied by strange drum rolls which unbelievably sounded like (hey was that the beat from Ricky Martin's 'She Bangs'?) a song, suddenly interrupted the goddess. Both master and slave raised their eyes to inspect the suspicious-looking see-through whirling white mist that has suddenly materialized in front of them.

"KANZEON BOSATSU I WANT YOUR ASS NOW!"

Okay, major gulp from the goddess and a humongous one from the pale servant on her side. That was the voice of the ultimate boss of them all. Kami-sama in person, erm, spirit. He doesn't sound very delighted to be paying them a visit. Nope, not at all.

"Oh hey, Kami-sama," I believe Kanzeon scuttled a little in her seat as she greeted the holy mist hanging in front of her. "To what do we owe this unexpected… visit?"

"NOW, DON'T YOU BE KISSING MY ASS KANZEON, YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHY I'M HERE," divine smoke swirled a little in what seemed like a smug arms akimbo I'm-the-boss-here-and-you-can't-fool-me-with-your-antics gesture. How he managed that while being nothing more as vapor was beyond me.

The goddess under scrutiny gave a nervous laugh. "Um… let me guess, you missed me and wanted to—"

"OH PLEASE… LIKE I WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE ASS-KISSING IF IT STARED ME IN THE FACE. TRY AGAIN."

"It couldn't be about my revived nephew down there now could it?"

Sacred smoke Kami-sama gave her a patented annoyed glare. Of course it was about that what else could it be? A lover's spat? Eeeeww. Kanzeon sunk a little lower on her chair. Talk about being on the spot.

"Um, what about him?" not going to make it simple isn't she?

"OKAY, LET'S MAKE IT EASY FOR BOTH OF US… I WANT YOU TO STOP TRYING TO GET THEM ALL TOGETHER, GOT IT?"

Herma-sama feigned innocence that wouldn't fool a three-year-old kid, blind and has ringworm. She arranged her face in what she probably thought was a winning naïveté look that simply reeked of scam, hey you could probably smell it if you were halfway around the world, from the 4th dimension. It's positive she lacks in that department.

"Whatever do you mean, Kami-sama?" big doe-eyes, tilted head, and hand on chest. It's the hand that most likely gave her away.

Smokey-sama developed a tick below his left eye, although that's maybe just his arm I can't be too sure since he's all whirly and cloudy.

"I DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR THE PATIENCE TO FOOL AROUND WITH YOU. CEASE GETTING ALL FOUR OF THEM TOGETHER, OR I SHALL STRIKE YOU SOMETHING HORRIBLE THAT WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE BORN MORTAL AND STRAIGHT… AND I DON'T INTEND THAT AS A PUN."

Let me explain, you see that's the catch. The gods in Tenkai were uneasy in reviving the Sanzo-ikkou, but they were against the idea of not having them walking around alive too. And giving them back their lives was the least they could do to honor the four men, after all they did saved the world from horrible doom back then right? So they decided to let them live away from each other, with no knowledge of each other and their past lives. 

In short they're not the Sanzo-ikkou anymore, at least not technically.

A fact that the goddess of mercy was more than happy to remedy. She's basically having a field day what with all the fun and workout she gets at pushing the four to each other. If she were to make a commercial of it, the tag would've been; 'Pleasure in Every Push'

"Hmmm… how horrible, do you mean?" pushy-pushy, luck'e-luck'e.

And without breaking a sweat, Kami-sama answered, "I SHALL ORDER A HEAVENLY DECREE THAT WILL MAKE ALL RESTROOMS AND CR'S STICTLY MALE AND FEMALE ONLY… UNI-SEX BATHROOMS SHALL BE BANNED… AMONG OTHER THINGS." he seemed really pleased with himself for that.

"WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?"

The goddess merely lifted an eyebrow, honestly, was that all he could think up? He's the boss of all Tenkai for goodness' sake! Geez, can you even say LAME?

"Fine."

Okay, he was not expecting that. "DID YOU HEAR WHEN I SAID NO MORE 'UNI-SEX'?"

"Yes."

"AND 'AMONG OTHER THINGS'?"

She smiled, "Of course."

Arrg! "AND IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU?"

"Oh, Kami-sama," her voice was a little patronizing, "I really can't care less, y'see I have my own bathroom here," she pointed on the door to her left, "and I'm always in here anyways, so I'd rather watch my nephew down there and endure not having to use great c.r's outside," she smiled self-righteously and made a shooing gesture at the god of all heavens, "so go ahead and order that decree, we'll still be friends."

Another tick on the holy mist.

"KANZEON… DO YOU WANT ME TO BANISH YOU FROM TENKAI?" whoa, he's definitely starting to get pissed off.

She began to sweat, "Eh-heh, of course not."

And Kami's the boss once again. "WELL THEN, WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER NOW. YOU SHALL CEASE YOUR ACTIVITIES REGARDING YOUR NEPHEW AND HIS FRIENDS."

"Oh, but Kami-sama," she gave in with a pout. "It's no fun to watch them not together. It doesn't feel right, y'know?"

Smokey sighed at that.

"NO I DON'T KNOW, KANZEON. I DO NOT CARE IF ITS NOT FUN OR RIGHT OR WHATEVER. WHAT I CARE ABOUT IS THE FACT THAT THE GODS DECIDED TO SEPARATE THEM. IT'S DETERMINED THAT THEY NOT KNOW EACH OTHER NO MATTER THEIR HISTORY," he paused and stared straight at the goddess for greater effect.

"THE GODS ARE NOT HAPPY THAT YOU'RE GOING AROUND BACKS TO DISMANTLE WHATEVER AUTHORITY THEY HOLD UPON THE MATTER. I AM NOT TOO. BUT THE WHOLE OF IT ALL, IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT SIMPLE, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT IS WRONG. YOU GOT THAT?"

Nope she doesn't. Whatever Kanzeon was, gay, straight, man, or woman, it's definite that she's stubborn with what she believed in, especially when she knows she's right.

She scowled. "Decisions is what you talk about, what about Fate? Isn't it fated that they stay together? From the very beginning, from their first lives and deaths," now it's her eyes that gazed hard at Kami's.

"They should be together. I know it."

Divine exasperation kicked in. "DON'T DO THIS, KANZEON BOSATSU. I WILL NOT LIKE IT IF, NO WHEN THE OTHER GODS STARTED DOING SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. I'M ON YOUR SIDE HERE, I WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU AND, STRANGELY FOR THE FOUR PEOPLE DOWN THERE, BELIEVE ME THIS IS ALL FOR THE BEST."

"IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT KENREN AND TENPOU GOT BACK TOGETHER. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MAD THEY STILL ARE AT THAT."

"You see," Kanzeon tried to explain again, "That's just it. That's the proof that they're fated to find each other. Tenpou and Kenren reuniting, can't you all recognize that?"

"YEAH, AND GEE, I WONDER HOW THEY MANAGED THAT."

Goddess Kanzeon almost screamed in frustration. All those thin smoke and not one point from her got through. Right now Smokey-sama was going on and on about fate, right things, decisions, other gods, and blah, blah, blah, like never before. She put one hand under her chin and suppressed a sigh. His tirades about the good of everything went on, and it's not like he's all right and dandy anyway… why just last night, Kanzeon had once again…

Her head erupted light bulbs all of a sudden. Hohoho. The genius goddess of mercy once again worked a great idea.

_I know something that could make you shush-shush…_

"…WELL BY ALL MEANS, ENLIGHTEN ME."

Opsiee. God. Can read minds. Boss. Powerful. Never forget again. Check.

"AND WHAT DOES THAT SMIRK MEANS? DON'T SMIRK, OKAY, SMIRK ON YOUR FACE MAKE ME NERVOUS."

"Was I smirking?" of course she was. Man from 4th dimension smelled it again.

"KANZEON!!!"

Her smile widened. Shush-shush. "Oh, all right. Come a little closer and I'll share it with you."

Kami-sama shuddered a little as he neared Kanzeon. He inched ever closer and when he was near enough the goddess whispered her secret.

It took only a couple of seconds and Kami's once peaceful smoky eyes turned bigger and bigger and his not-so-visible pupils dilated. He stared at Kanzeon as if she was the most diabolical creature he's ever seen.

"H-HOW… HOW COULD YOU KNOW THAT?" and his voice doesn't sound so magnificent anymore. Who-hoo, shush-shush.

"No, that's not what you really want to know is it? It's the question 'who am I gonna tell' that really bakes your noodles, right?" good lord, she's enjoying this way too much. By now, Kami-sama's looking more and more stricken than his misty-substance could allow.

"HOW… SAMI-KUN?" poor shame, his voice reduced to being child-like.

It's no big secret actually. Kanzeon has long ago known of this 'Sami-kun', a.k.a Invisible God's Invisible Friend. Yes, a make believe friend that only the barely-seen kami could see. She chanced upon him or 'them' one night when she came looking for cookies. She heard him speaking, went to investigate and voila! Instant something-to-hold-over-Kami's-head information. It's a good thing she came out of her room when she did. Her fruits of labor sure were sweet!

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" now they're getting somewhere.

"You know what I want. Leave me alone with the four down there and I shall swear you secrecy." Isn't she magnanimous?

Swirly-kami almost cursed. Almost.

"I CAN'T DO THAT. ASK ME ANYTHING OKAY, JUST NOT THAT."

 Wow. He almost sounded like he's pleading. Fun, it may be but Kanzeon decided to cut him some slack.

Goddess fingered her binoculars lovingly before saying, "Okay, if you really believe in you're decision that separating the four will keep them away from each other for real, if you're really adamant about that. You agree to a treaty with me and I swear I will never speak of your… 'thing' to others. Good?"

"WHAT TREATY?"

"Simple. We observe and let Konzen and company find their way towards each other, with minimum interference from both of us of course. They find each other in time; they stay that way, and vice versa. Consequence and responsibility shall be ours both, if you know what I mean."

Silence from smoky substance hanging above.

"Do you understand, Kami?"

Kanzeon's suggestion wasn't half as bad as he feared. "HMMM… WHAT MINIMUM INTERFERENCE DO YOU MEAN?" 

Goddess thought this over quickly and said, "What say you don't go inside of physically maneuvering them and I stay inside the dream realm. Plus, we let fate do its work."

Silence was Kami's answer, a good sign that he's considering. They gauged each other for a few minutes.

"OKAY DEAL."

And point goes to one calculating and devious goddess of mercy. She just made the lord of all heavens bend to her wills. Happy days are here again.

Kanzeon choked out her laughter lest the kami decided to reconsider.

"Now let's talk about the time frame… I'm thinking one to two months."

"HEL—HECK NO! I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU SO MUCH AS FOUR DAYS."

"What that's way too short, make it three weeks."

"FIVE DAYS."

"Two weeks."

Don't they sound so much like holy gamblers, err, if there's even a term?

"DO YOU WANT ME TO GET IN MORE TROUBLE?"

"Um… thirteen days? That's good enough."

"ONE WEEK AND THAT'S MY FINAL OFFER. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT."

"All right, all right I'll take it. Seven days it is."

I'm glad that's over.

Kanzeon settled languidly on her chair and said, "It's a close deal then. For a week we shall see who among us is the better."

"NOT SO FAST. I WANT TO HAVE MY END IN THIS BARGAIN."

His end he said? Didn't Kanzeon just give him his end when she let him off the hook for that 'Sami-kun' thing? Oh well, she's way too happy to even think about that.

"Okay, shoot."

The stricken god thought about the situation. By agreeing to the old hag's conditions, he had condemned himself to the others' rage and daresay nagging, heaven knows he have had enough of those to last him multiple lifetimes, so he might as well get something out of this bet just so he could see the sly goddess squirm in her seat.

"HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO, WHEN YOU WIN, I DO AS YOU SAY AND LET THEM BE, BUT IF YOU LOSE, NOT ONLY WILL YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE, I ALSO WANT YOU TO JOIN US…"

"Join you where?"

"NOTHING BIG REALLY, JUST A NUMBER OF US GODS IN A GET-TOGETHER…"

Kanzeon's eyes bugged a bit, "Good heaven's, you can't mean…"

"YES. IN THE 'HEAVENLY BODIES CLUB' YOU SHALL JOIN!!!"

Kami-sama took a lot of pleasure in watching Herma-chan's face pale gradually. It was common knowledge in Tenkai that Kanzeon hated the club, she attended once and she almost went loony with the endless book-reading and sing-a-song-for-each-other-sessions, she's not even gonna tell you about the hour-long pep-talks. Boy, who would have thought there was such torture in heaven?

She tried reasoning with him, "But, but, I let you go on your 'friend' thing! That's just unfair!!"

But of course, "WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN TO ME WHEN THE OTHERS LEARNED THAT I AGREED TO YOUR LITTLE WHIM?  THEY WILL HAVE MY ASS, YOU AND I KNOW IT. THAT'S THE LEAST YOU COULD DO."

The goddess pouted in her chair. That was a tough one. Would she damn herself in that stupid club just for her nephew? Does she have that much care for him and his friends? Not to mention fate that they're really fated for each other? Well, yeah, but it's the Heavenly Bodies Club!!! Good lord, spring something atrocious why don'cha?

 _You so owe me for this, Konzen…big time._

"Fine, I agree, but only for a lifetime okay?"

"IT'S SETTLED THEN," Smokey-sama whirled a bit in what looked like looking-at-the-wrist-for-time movement and then said in a brisk administrator tone, "IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT I RAISE THE SUN. I WILL GO FOR A WHILE AND WHEN I RETURN WE SHALL START OUR LITTLE GAME, OH AND I WANT A HOT GREEN TEA READY WHEN I COME BACK… GOODBYE."

A gust of breeze went by and slammed the room's door shut. And then they were silent.

Kanzeon slapped and hand on her forehead. "Thank goodness he's gone… that wu—"

"I'M STILL HERE Y'KNOW."

"Kami-sama?!" yep, the white, fluffy twirly transcendental ruler of Tenkai was still hanging above the room. Wishy-washy time for one goddess. "B-but… I thought…" she looked back and pointed to the closed door, "that… t-that—"

"THAT WAS THE WIND." Flat tone, pissed off, just choking it? Definitely not good.

When in trouble, kiss ass, that's today's motto. "Eh-heh, kami-sama, has anyone ever told you how… eherm… silky and smoky you look today? Did you have a new hairstyle? Because you look totally ravi—"

"ONE DAY, KANZEON, ONE DAY… OR BETTER YET, I'M GOING TO WAIT UNTIL THIS WEEK, THEN WE'LL SEE…"

Outbreak of humid wind current again, accompanied by yes, the beat from 'She Bangs' and kami-sama's gone for real this time.

"Augh…" one lucky goddess sunk back to her chair in relief. Close call that one was. She was an inch away from getting her beautiful butt banished.

Jirou-chan who, the whole time had cowered in the corner of the room and has a suspicious-looking yellow patch of wetness on the crotch of his pants, went back shakily at the side of his master.

"D-do you think you were right in your decision, Bosatsu-sama?"

His master has once again placed her binoculars on her eyes as she answered, "If I'm wrong, we are going to spend a lifetime singing praises to each other."

Holy sushi, did he just hear her say 'we'? As in 'the both of them', together? Not just her alone? Oh goodie-goodie. He has landed himself the greatest job in all Tenkai, wouldn't you say?

And one week was not enough time for him to go searching for a less great career. All this greatness, he could just swear he's not meant for it.

Seven days.

*************************

Um, first off, I mean no form of Blasphemy when I portrayed Kami-sama as a well, big wuss so please don't hate me for that… secondly, about Jiroushin, (did I spelled that right?) about him, this will sound strange but, I have always associated him with that little green alien from FUTURAMA, y'know, Capt. Zap Braniggan's unwilling faithful right-hand alien who's name I forgot… that one. I don't know why, so again don't hate me if it got you offended. Lastly about the length of this chapter (not to mention my tirade) and yes, I can say LAME… so there. You can hate me for that, y'see I'm easily swayed by self-indulgence, I know where to stop but I can't. I'm a pushover when it comes to these things, I just realized… all of you are welcome to slap me in the face with my mistakes (which I know there are many)… I won't mind… that's all… bye-bye!!!


	2. SEVEN DAYS chap 2

**SEVEN DAYS**

[A/N]: Yo! I want to apologize to those who tried to send anonymous reviews to my previous chap, I mean always believing that there are those who did tried to review, if there aren't, what the heck right? But I still wanna explain, see, I didn't know 'bout this li'l option in the profile settings which enables readers to review w/o signing-on… it was just recently that I signed up for Fanfiction.Net and I was really excited, I was like… "HOLY SCHMOLLY!!!! I'M IN!!!!!!!!… I'm in… who-hoo!!!"… Very, very excited, although I can't illustrate here how my face looked at that time… but point is, I was sooooo thrilled that I failed to examine clearly all my options when I did my profile… I know that's real dumb, and it was a good thing someone kindly pointed it out… it was a very stupid mistake… sowie? Please don't think I was being snob. And thank you very much to those who read!!! Thanks!!!

[Disclaimer]: Week's over (*sniff, sniff*). The powers that be ignored my wish. (*sniff*) They don't like meeee! Looks like I ain't owning SAIYUKI anytime soon. (*goes off to a corner and cries*)… hey what's this? A book? 100 Steps to Achieving Unlikely Dreams and Delusions?!… Hmmm (*cackles evilly*)…

I think its fairly obvious but I'll say it anyways… the words, sentences and such in Italics are thoughts of the characters… regular speeches shall stay denoted by "this"… and all the other hubbubs… well you're all smart, y'know how it goes… ^__^

Let's start shall we?

**Chapter Two: And Thus It Begins With Coffee and the Laundromat (Part 1)**

"SO," cried the voice of Blaine.

"CAST YOUR NETS, WANDERERS…"

-- Stephen King, 'The WasteLands'

The smaller the head, the bigger the dream.

-- Austin O'Malley

            "Y'KNOW, I JUST REALIZED," Kami-sama said to the goddess sitting beside him as he delicately sipped tea. "YOU HAVE THE UPPER-HAND IN THIS LITTLE GAME… WHAT WITH THE KENREN AND TENPOU FIASCO," misty hand reached out and plucked a spoon to stir his cup before adding, "THE ONLY REAL CHALLENGE WILL BE BRINGING KONZEN AND HIS HERETIC PET TOGETHER."

            "AND WE ALL KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS." He finished dryly.

            The goddess in question looked sideways at her company and raised an eyebrow.  Vaguely, she thought that she must look quite dumb holding a conversation with thin air who has a taste for green tea with just few drops of lemon if you please. And why the heck did he ask for chair anyway? Its not like he's sitting on it, he's hovering over it for cryin' out loud. And it was just like Kami to point out his unease with the contract right after he agreed. Was that 'shirking' Herma-sama could smell in the air?

            She sipped her own tea before answering, "Oh, but you must consider that I did all that in a span of more than six months," paused and sipped tea, "the game only lasts for a week."

            "And we agreed on 'minimum meddling' didn't we?"

Swirly-god thought about that. "TRUE. BUT I STILL THINK I'M THE UNDER-DOG HERE."

Under-dog? Was he kidding? What, was that like the understatement of the year? He's the revered boss of all things living and non-living alike! How much luckier does he want to be? Kanzeon doesn't think that the Kami knows greed was not included in the Heavenly Virtues List.

Riiighttt… Under-dog my ass, you greedy, gree--

"DID YOU… DID YOU JUST THINK THAT I, THE LORD OF ALL TENKAI, YOU THINK I'M GREEDY?" that's an inch closer to a divine rampage.

Kanzeon, Kanzeon, I thought we went over this? Can-read-mind, Boss? Remember? Angry, not good. Never ever forget unless came the urge to die painful death? Is any of that ringing a bell?

The goddess of mercy rolled her eyes at the boss' short-temper. Seems like he can't take a 'joke' nowadays. "Oh, let's not fight at that puh-lease! If it makes you happy, I open mouth and insert foot, good?" she added an exasperated sigh, "I was merely saying that the conditions of the deal is fair, we both agreed and we shouldn't be having this argument."

 "WELL THEN DON'T BE THINKING ANYMORE STUFF THAT AREN'T NICE. I'M VERY SENSITIVE YOU KNOW." Oo-kay, sulking child and Kami-sama together don't really sound nice.

Kanzeon gazed at Kami-sama incredulously, the omnipotent god, she saw was looking all hurt like he has a wounded paw. And it was all she could do not to scream out loud and pull at her hair, "Fine, I'll stop. Anything else you want?" if this kept up, she'll look old with all those wrinkles appearing. Correction, older.  

"SAY YOU'RE SORRY."

What the hell? 

"What?"

"I MEAN IT, SAY YOU'RE S-O-R-R-Y, SORRY." 

That stopped the train of impure profanities going around the goddess' head.

And yeah, that's the Kami-sama; you're not hearing the tantrums of a young kid here. He must've ingested too much sugar when he ate that cake from a while ago. He's not supposed to eat sweets.

Herma-sama popped a couple of veins on her face, "I just apologized to you!"

Heavenly fog pouted stubbornly, "NO YOU DIDN'T. SAY THE WORDS THEMSELVES!"

"I did too apologized!"

"DID NOT!"

"Did too!" I think I saw another wrinkle pop out in her left cheek. That brings her wrinkle-count to six! And that's only on that one cheek. Hah!

"DID NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT, AND NOT TO THE INFINITE! I WON! SAY SORRY."

Goddess of mercy visibly smoked in the ears. "You are so enjoying this aren't you?"

            The kid, erm the lord of all Tenkai merely smiled a big toothy, hey-I-can-see-your-gums smile. Yep, he's having a racket!

            "Fine, I'm SORRY, happy now?" good lord, if he weren't the boss of 'em all she would have socked him in his smoky face a long eons ago.

            Smokey-sama swirled blissfully like a contented puppy. Squirm-squirm went the sly goddess… payback sure is a… um, well a female dog. Maybe he should do this more often, he thinks.

            He took another sip of his tea and said, "NOW WHERE WERE WE?"

            "On the game, we were on the game, Kami-sama." One last puff of steam went out of her ears. 

            Squirm-squirm again. Another point goes to Kami-kid! Note to godly-self: annoy the old hag more often; it's fun watching her wrinkles go ga-ga. Who-hoo. Fun-fun!

            "WHY, YES. THE GAME," Smokey looked at his unseen watch and seriously said, "WE START NOW, EARLY IN THE MORNING, MINUTES PAST SEVEN I BELIEVE."

            "Finally."

            Both settled more comfortably on their chairs and watched the world of mortals. Jiroushin could be seen in the back of the two looking like he just ate something nasty, but he watched along with the gods for he too was a participant in the game, however indirect. They observed with keen fascination the ripples of happenings that would decide the winner.

            Poor, poor, Sanzo-ikkou, all unsuspecting and innocent. Toys for the higher powers.

*************************

In a posh apartment in one corner of the world, Genjo Sanzo opened his eyes and let out strings of curses as the early sun stung his eyesight. He raised one hand to caress his sleep-famished throbbing head, cursed, sat up, and cursed again. That was how he begins his days lately.

Peachy world he's living in. The sun just had to shine its rays directly in his eyeballs right when he badly needed no irritation, it just have to add its hand in the horrible situation.

Damn sun. 

And yes, he woke up in the wrong side of bed if that's what you're thinking. He's been waking up in the wrong side of bed for a couple of days now actually. Five days to be specific. For five, miserable, consecutive days, he's been having troubled sleep. Try experiencing that and see if you won't curse the sun, which just had to poke at your eyes 'Good Morning'. And a good morning to you too, see here my middle finger? It's aching to greet you to. Real peachy.

You wanna know why? Yes?

Nothing serious, it's just those damn, stupid dreams that keep on plaguing him every night. 'Recurring Fucking Nightmares', he called them, which has been haunting him for less than a week now. And it's not even about something important! He would have understood if it told him of future events like when the death of all annoying creatures will be, or will the whole world finally end thank you very much Kami, but no. It was annoying in its persistence and its just about some bunch of men, which by the way, he has never met before. So there, he has the right to bitch about it.

Oh, but there's just one thing…

Although he's just too pissed to admit to himself, the dreams, they were actually familiar. Not familiar, I've-seen-it-around-thousand-times-before familiar, but its like something in the back of his head that simply can't stay quiet. Like an itch that you can't quite reach and yeah, that annoying too.

Images from his RFN flooded his mind. He remembered talking with three other men about some journey or what-nots towards the west. One man was a brunette with a weird one-piece eye thingy on his face and an even weirder smile, another was a tall smelly-looking guy with unbelievably the reddest hair he has seen, the last one was…

He paused mid-thought.

He felt like he knew the two men eventhough he has never met them, and well if he did he was sure to avoid such guys, but the last one was an entirely different thing. The last was just a kid really. A mere slip of a young man who's actually quite good-looking, slight-built with just the right amount of buffness for his age, chocolate-gold hair all flying in different directions and two golden orbs, contacts or no, which bespoke of stupidity and incredibly, untainted innocence… there was just something about the kid which, he can't quite describe… 

Hell, something was calling him to the boy.

And no, he doesn't feel like thinking about it.

I don't want to think about it. 

See?

A number of lifetimes, he's not a monk anymore, but he's still that no-nonsense, droopy-eyed guy who will shoot at anything that annoyed him even in the smallest way possible, so let's just take his word for it, kay?

But you're gonna have to eventually… 

And that, ladies and gentlemen was one of his split personalities. Yeah, he's got multiple personas now! Small wonder he's always so rude what with the conflicting insides and all. Loony, loony.

Not if I can help it, retorted the first. Y'see? He's having arguments with himself now. Hey everybody grab some popcorn!

For some unknown reason, Sanzo-sama doesn't want to delve deeper in the mysteries of little dream boy and cohorts so not delve deeper it is! For now. Hah.

Genjo Sanzo stood up, went to the bathroom and splashed water to his face. For a moment he just stared at his reflection at the sink mirror. His face was the same. Weary, amethyst eyes, pale complexion, and blonde hair that shines like the damn sun. 

The same old Sanzo. 

He can't say the same for his sanity though. There were days when he felt like shooting every one of the people around him, ordinary days those were. Now, at the arrival of those dreams, he felt like shooting every one of the people around him, plus go on a neck-wringing spree. And all because of those…

I told you I'm not thinking about it…feh. Go away you fuckin' dream you…

Right.

Sanzo got himself a towel and went to his study table to check on the time. 7:10 am it said. He has a class at 9:30, which means plenty of time to catch himself a coffee before going to school; heaven knows he needed one badly. Nothing like a cup of caffeine plus some sticks of nicotine to calm nerves eh?

So he went back to his toilet, did his morning essentials, put on some clean clothes, took his car keys, went out of his apartment, walked straight to the parking lot, shall I continue?… no? You get the drift.

And off he went to a nearby cafeteria, which served the most awful coffee in all the lands. Do not ask me why he prefer to go there when it serves him piss-poor-taste-like-one-too, coffee, he just do. Insane people, equals hard to understand, we all know that.

Nothing special. Just him in one of his awful moods, no let me repeat that, just him in one of his everyday moods, driving out to get coffee, and if he gets lucky, maybe somebody could provoke him hard enough. That would surely take his mind away from his nightly visions and would immediately revert him to that pushy urge to kill. Irk-some, yeah, and same difference that one was, but it does the job.

It was just another exceedingly annoying usual day for him. 

*Cough, boy-toy, cough*. 

Oh well.

*************************

"Yo, Gojyo!" cried a very distraught looking man at the redhead guy sleeping beside him. They were in a small, cramped and untidy room apartment which simply screamed SLOB. Pieces of clothes, crumpled papers, bunch of soda and beer cans, and who-knows what else, lay scattered on the tiled floor. It stunk SLOB too, yeah. 

You would've expected that this poor, poor, meager, poor condition was what got the man, incredulously named Spaz, screaming distress early in the morning. 

Well, not really. 

It was actually the drool from the one named Gojyo that made its sticky way on his hair that got him so upset. You see, Spaz just washed his hair two days ago, and Gojyo's untimely spit deploy would force him to wash today. His 'Standard Hair Washing Time' shouldn't have been until after two days more, and what could be more awful than a hitch in your schedule? Spaz can't think of any.

He wiped gingerly at his precious hair and bore holes at the stupid redhead that was still sleeping peacefully as a rock, "Gross, man, wake up…!" he shook Gojyo a little which caused more saliva to dribble out of his morning-stinky mouth. "Oh, yuck! You're drooling all over the place, wake up you yucky-man!" he sprang up and prodded yucky-man with his feet from a safe distance away.

"Eh…?" Drooly-Red opened his eyes as gracefully as a drunken schmuck. He scratched his red locks messily and gazed at Spaz who has weird goo on his head and was looking at him like he has something infectious. 

"What the heck are you babbling about this early in the morning? You interrupted my beauty sleep, man!" 

Spaz goggled at him unbelievingly. Geez, interrupted his beauty sleep he said. "You're the one who disrupted me first, you disgusting baboon!"

"Eh?" Gojyo repeated dumbly. He frowned slightly and scratched his head some more before adding, "Right, I'm disgusting. Did'ya know you have goo on your hair?"

He pointed at the nasty wetness on his buddy's head, complacently I should say. And then a playful smile appeared on his face. "I didn't know you could come in your other head too, you Spaz-my-man buddy you. What kind'a wet dream could do that?"

Trust Perverted Drooly-Red to twist a situation into something sex-related. 'The World's About Sleep and Sex', that would be written on his headstone when he dies.

And he laughed. He double over, clutched at his stomach and laughed like a maniac who got laid very nice. That's Gojyo for you, Mr. Pervert all-around funny guy. Everyone's just screaming for more.

Look his friend Spaz was dying of mirth, haha his face said.

"That's your drool you idiot!" he flicked the saliva on his head and showed it to Gojyo. "You were slobbering all over me! This is yours!!!"

"EWWWW, get your goo away from me…"

Friend Spaz rolled his eyes to the high heavens. There was just no point in arguing with Gojyo, because his head's too overloaded with PSF's (Perverted Sexual Frustrations) to keep up with the main point; he's demented that way. All those thick skull beneath the red hair, he's mental I tell you. Try carrying out a conversation with a sex-goaded moron and you will end up much the same way, plus you get a few blown fuses in the mind works.

The aggravated Spaz contented himself with glaring hideously at the man on his bed, before taking himself to the bathroom. In his head, he wondered if taking Gojyo in was the best move he made, despite the fact that his room was overcrowded and unkempt to begin with and his food supply's not in its thriving seasons, so yep it makes one wonder about some things.

_He's your cousin. He's your cousin. Cousins look out for fellow cousins. He's your cousin…_chanted the voice in Spaz's head.

"Piece of advice, cuz," Gojyo shouted from the bed, "wash your hair today!" followed by a series of guffaws. Told you he's an all-around funny guy.

_…hurt cousin. You do not hurt cousins… will not hurt cousin even if said cousin is an asshole, a slobbering yuck-man… will not hurt cousins…_ on an on went Spaz's Special Cousin Mantra.

Back at the bed, Gojyo laughed a lot more before getting up and going over the myriads of clothing on the floor. He picked one shirt, which looked considerably clean until he smelled it and dropped it back to the floor. Yes, you can add that to GNQI or 'Gojyo's Nicer Qualities Inventory': entry number eleven, GROSS. Check. That goes after DISGUTING. 

He continued his haunt for Considerable Clean Shirts and found all of them just 'clean looking'. He gave up his search to futility, he turned his head at the bathroom where Spaz was, thought for about twelve seconds then he went over the drawer and picked an unsuspecting clean shirt.

Whistling a tune to himself, Gojyo put on the poor shirt and shouted at his buddy on the bath, "Hey Spaz! Can I borrow one of your shirts? I ain't got no clean ones no more and I have to meet this friend of mine for coffee… thanks. You the best buddy!" 

And then he was out the door faster than Best-buddy could say 'hell no, fuck you'! 

Look in the dictionary and Gojyo's picture stands next to Crude.

Aha! So entry number twelve shall go as CRUDE INFURIATING… SONOVAB…

That was the fourteenth day since Sha Gojyo came to Spaz and pitifully asked if he could room with him. Two weeks since Gojyo pointed out that they have the same brown eyes* and they kind'a look the same too, only the hairs strayed off, coz' Gojyo's was red and Spaz's was black, but they still look alike anyway; so it must be that they're relatives! They're cousins, which got the stupid Spaz to agree 'sure' about that damn bunking issue. 

Cousins they were, that's what Gojyo said. 

So who's the demented one now? Spaz you Moron!

*************************

Yanagi Dorothy converted to Ms. Horny Eyed Doth or Ms. HED for short (by her highschool 'bestfriends'), a young woman of 19 years, with unruly thatch of plain brown hair always in pigtails, and the biggest horn-rimmed glasses that you could imagine, was having fun! Her whole life as the coolest dork in all the realms, she's never experienced a thrill and pleasure such as the one she's having now. 

Oh, if you could only feel the ecstasy coursing through her veins… the drive… the delight… oh good momma… the buzz… the kicks… the kicks of EARLY SHIFTS!!! Oh, yes, yes, yes!!!

Eh-heh.

You must excuse Ms. HED, y'see, she's a new employee at this laundromat, located at the lower parts of the city. A balding fat guy named Bob, with the worst cynic humor that could rival Sanzo's if he has one, owned the small laundry shop. Evidence of Mr. Bob's oh-so hilarious wit could be seen when he named his shop 'We Wash You Pay (And Dearly)'. Wasn't that so funny?

Bob hired Ms. HED just last week, and eversince, Horny-miss worked regular shifts for minimum wage.

Horny-miss, she's a lonely child, never having friends because of her looks. She's the perfect embodiment of the of the term, well… Dork. And she's never had anything exciting so much as a hangnail. We're all kind people here right so let's all pardon her? Hey anyone wants to be her friend I got her phone number? Eh-heh again.

So anyways, this morning, the employee who usually worked the early shift got hospitalized because of food poisoning, and Bob had to find a replacement right away, on such short notice. 

Why not man the shop himself, you ask? I asked Mr. Bob that myself and here's what he answered, I quote: "What? And waste the money I pay to those idiotic schmucks who would do it for me? Right. Hey, you mind working this shift? I'll pay you…" 

Would you look at that, he's an all around funny guy too like Gojyo!!! Hey, Mr. Bob, ever thought of going on Letterman? You should y'know, and maybe you could double with Red, I'm sure they'd dig you there! You funny guy you.

Wouldn't you think?

Mr. Fat Ass BOB, he called the first person, which entered his FAT mind when thinking about workers who were, dare I say, suckers. Sad to say, Ms. HED was that sucker. After she received Mr. Fat Ass Bob's call, she all but dashed to the laundromat, which was a thirty-minute drive from where she lives. And so here she was, practically tingling with pleasure working the morning shift. But hey, if she's happy, who are we to question?

Right now, Ms. HED was watching with fanatical interest the swirling and rotation of various dresses in the washing machine, that she failed to recognize the tinkling of the wind chimes by the door that signal the coming of a costumer. What does she find so fascinating about it? I wonder about that too.

So while the beauteous Ms. HED was discovering the mysteries of the Dryer-a-tumbling phenomenon, a certain costumer was looking around the empty-looking shop wondering where the workers were and what in the holy Kami's name was that moaning and groaning sounds he's hearing coupled with the rumbling of the machine dryer.

A bespectacled man of about 20 years of age or more looked a little confused around the small laundromat. He had left his some clothes there two days ago and he came to pick them up for a class he has later. The shop, he heard was reliable even when the Fat Ass owner was the biggest asshole of the town. Some of his friends say that the laundromat was always open to accommodate busy people, and so he decided to try it out this first time. Where the heck were those reliable employees then?

Didn't the door say 'Come in We're Open'?

Oo-kay, and still that groaning and moaning.

Specked-mystery-costumer stopped at the counter and craned his head to hear more. Was he perhaps a little too early? But the shop was open already the door attested that. Or maybe, some staffs were doing something, er, outside their job description. Should he just come back later? Because his unfortunate arrival could prove to inflict some painful… cramps should he decide to probe deeper in the back, coz' well that's where the sounds seem to be coming from.

He looked at his wristwatch to analyze his options. Modesty told him to leave, but he's got an early class and he sure as hell doesn't want to go walking around his school halls naked. 

That's the question of the day, to go look or not to go look. Should he? He should right? Whatever nasty business was going on at the back wasn't right so he should go, correct? Just a little peek, nothing to do with perversion or anything. But then, he would embarrass the two people when he bust in on them while getting it on. 

An image of him walking in and interrupting two faceless people in a very awkward situation occupied his mind. 

'Hey just here to get my underwear, er, pants—clothes…' he would say while trying hard not to stare, too much on the on-going activity, 'don't you mind me, continue, continue' and then he would dash away and never return again on that laundromat. Except maybe on few occasions when he's bored or something, and definitely not after he purchased a handy-cam. Nothing to do with perversion, indeed.

Can anyone say dirty-minded? It's a marvel how an innocent thing like moaning and groaning could activate that little green creature named 'Horny Ernie' in peoples' head. Okay, so maybe nothing's remotely innocent about groaning and moaning in public, but y'all get my point. And please don't ask about Ernie, kay?

Costumer-Guy thought about it some more. His class, his friend he has to meet for coffee, and he can't very well smell like used clothes, modesty sure doesn't outweigh those things. And hell, he's curious. 

Also if its not him right now, it's gonna be someone else later right? He's nice, if that's any consolation, he won't laugh or gawk too much or anything. Honest. 

So there.

With that over, he readied himself and walked around the counter to observe, er, interrupt.

"E-excuse me?" a voice politely inquired.

The jacking-off sounds stopped. Ms. HED from whom, as you guessed right, the sounds came from stopped whatever she's doing. She was so surprised silly that her eyes turned large as saucers. But hey, she was not jacking-off don't get the wrong idea. She was just… well she was, um let's say she was very moved by the washing machine's actions. Nothing nasty. Cross her heart! And why are you people looking at me like that? That does too happen!!! Sometimes. Okay rarely. Um, once in a leap year?

Fine, whatever you think. Let's give her the benefit of a doubt here, people. So maybe she finds the wet and rotating motions of the machine, um stimulating, nothing irregular 'bout that.

Eh-heh.

The almost anticipating look on Costumer-Guy's face was instantaneously replaced by a repulsed one when he saw that there was only one contestant in the game. And it was a woman too. Somehow, that thought made the image of two people getting it on in public seem like a TeleTubbies episode.

He smiled and it was strained. "Um… My laundry?"

Is it just me or did that sounded dumb?

The implications of that very embarrassing situation registered on Ms. HED's head. Here was a guy, attractive despite of the glasses, asking for his clothes, no doubt seeing her in the act of… um well whatever she was doing.

A small squeak escaped her lips and she sprang up immediately before anyone could say 'jack-off'.

"I-I'm sorry… I- I was just… I was doing, y'know… um your clothes--?" good lord that sounded even worse!

Costumer-Guy raised both hands to calm the poor stuttering girl, "Its okay. I'm just here for my clothes, can I have them now?"

Someone got off the hook.

Ms. HED looked so comically relieved that CG almost thought that she would give him a salute. "Your clothes, yes… um follow me, sir." 

She started for the cabinet near the counter where the clean clothes were packed. But of course, fate's not finished yet. A stray cable line caught her foot while she was ushering the Costumer-guy and—

WHAM! 

Next thing you know, she was lying flat on her face.

Costumer-Guy would have hollered out loud, polite or no, at the sad, funny picture she presented had he been someone named Sha Gojyo or had he not heard the rattling of glass breaking.

"You okay, miss?" he kneeled and helped the poor girl to sit up. Her glasses had broken at that hard impact and blood was slightly pouring down her nose.

Costumer-Guy took out his hanky and helpfully wiped at Ms. HED's wound. He looked worriedly at her before saying, "Hey, you want me to take you to the hospital? Your nose is bleeding, and you might've hurt some bones or some sort."

"No, no, thank you…" she answered gratefully as she detached herself shakily from the guy's support. "I'm all right, thanks for your concern."

Truthfully, she felt worse than those clothes that went through the dryer, but she's not about to shame herself even more. Their clan motto, y'see was 'Preserve Whatever Dignity You Got'.

Costumer-Guy picked the now-useless glasses and offered it to the girl, whom was obviously looking for it. "You broke it on your fall."

"Um… thank you again." And arrives another problem. Ms. HED was bat-blind without her glasses. How was she supposed to do her job now?

"Miss? If you're fine now, can I please get my laundry? Y'see I have appointments, so please?"

Uh-oh.

She smiled nervously. "Yes, your laundry… come with me, its here."

Carefully, she continued her way towards the cabinet with costumer close on her heels.

"I need your receipt sir."

"Oh, here."

The piece of paper was handed to her… and she stared at it, hard.

A few seconds passed…

She stared still.

Now a minute had gone by…

Stared some more.

And still staring…

"Miss?"

_Did his receipt number say 0137 or 0317?_

"Miss, my clothes?"

_Or maybe that was 9 not a 3._

"Hey? Could you please do this now?"

_What the heck does it say?_

"Are you really okay, miss, because I think you might have hit your head a little too hard on that fall. Miss?"

_What the heck. Ennie, Minnie, miney, moo…_

"Hey-hey!"

And at last he made contact, "Got it!" she took a bag in the cabinet and gave it to Costumer-Guy who was really starting to get annoyed.

Costumer-Guy never bothered to check the insides of the bag, and maybe if he did, that could have saved him from a lot of trouble. He paid the amounts due, said a brief 'thanks' which he's not sure he meant and went out.

That was how Ms. HED started her first early shift. And that was also how the Mystery-Costumer went home with the bag number 0137.

Can anyone smell trouble with a capital M?

But hey, you'll never know maybe someday Costumer-Guy will come to thank her for it. Someday.

Hey, I'm serious.

*************************

Quite a few minutes after Costumer-Guy claimed his laundry, the boy named Son Goku could be seen getting out of the same shop carrying his own bag.

Hmmm.

*************************

Eh-heh. Nothing much happened here. I would've continued but… it's LONG enough as it is… and hey notice that I titled this AND THUS IT BEGINS WITH… (PART 1)? I seem to go over the top with my own thoughts again, wouldn't you think? Sorry. I can't help inserting my own voice… please don't sue me? Loooooong chapter this was. And abruptly ended… anything odd you detected, you're all welcome to tell. Please review? Thanks. Bye-bye.

To Tooboe luvs Tsume? (sowie, but that's what you typed): wow thanks a lot. I don't understand the meaning of your last line, sorry; it's in Japanese and I don't do that, I'm sure it means nice, though, right? I wasn't aware that I was incorporating Stephen King in my fic, subconscious work I guess, but if it pleased you, then good. I like SK very much too. I haven't read Rose Madder yet, unfortunately. And I'm quite sure you were pertaining to that old sociologist guy with the dog from The Stand, was that him? I can't recall his name either, Stan, or something like that. It's been long since I've read that book, and a 'good' friend never again returned my copy, poor me. Eh-heh. About the other characters, you should try reading SK's The Dark Tower Series. The main four heroes are so much like the Sanzo-ikkou!!! And it's main man, Roland his name is, he's a gunslinger!!! He's (very) good at guns too!!! Plus he's a bastard just like Sanzo!!! Oh, but I meant 'bastard' in a cute and endearing way. Thanks for your review eventhough my update is taking forever.

To all the others, thank you!!!


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